Alcosynth Will Make You Tipsy Like Alcohol But Doesn’t Cause Health Issues Or Hangovers
If I told you that you can drink as many cocktails as you want and not risk your health or even get a hangover, you’d probably tell me to get out of town. Alcosynth, a new synthetic alcohol, is promising all those things and more.
Is This Nutts Or What?
Alcosynth is the culmination of years of research by Professor David Nutt of the Imperial College London. His team has over 90 patents on synthetic alcohol compounds. Two of those Alcosynth compounds, are currently being tested for use as retail products. According to Nutt one is basically tasteless, while the other has a bitter taste.
They said “I do”. So I did…on video
The ingenious chemistry of Alcosynth, will make you tipsy like alcohol, but not out of control drunk. In other words, it will never make you as drunk as I was as a groomsman at my sister’s wedding. I peed my pants in front of all of my family and friends. They said “I do”. So I did…on video.
Fortunately for my dry cleaners, the inebriating effects of Alcosynth are limited to the equivalent of four to five alcoholic drinks. As a result, you can drink all day long and never get any more drunk. Additionally, there is no risk of alcohol poisoning, or passing out. You can even go to work the next day hangover free!
No More Puking, Headaches, Or Liver Damage
Alcosynth is non-toxic to your body. For this reason you will never suffer liver or heart damage from drinking it. Additionally, you will not suffer from the nausea or throbbing headaches that can make your life a living hell the next day. According to Professor Nutt your body will safely break down the synthetic alcohol in about two hours which is similar to the rate at which your liver breaks down alcohol.
I Want It Now
Why can’t we have this now? Government regulations of course. The creators of Alcosynth still have a long way to go to get this to market. They are actively trying to navigate the regulatory and political landscape to get Alcosynth into our glasses ASAP. The public health implications alone are enormous. According to the CDC, the public health cost of excessive alcohol consumption in America is over $249 billon. The reductions in heart disease, Liver disease and potentially alcoholism could be socially and economically staggering.
If Alcosynth delivers on its potential, it’s adoption rate could dwarf that of E-cigarettes. Professor Nutt believes that Alcosynth will completely replace alcohol by 2050. If that’s the case my family might even start inviting me to weddings again.
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